I know deep in my heart I have every reason to walk away, but I just can't. I don't know why, but I just can't!
Why do I love you? Why should I love you this much? It was not supposed to happen this way! Why did it have to be this way? I was doing fine in my own little world ... I was happy and contented ... but you just have to come right in and create ripples in my once calm waters.
I have always seen you as a friend --- a very dear friend. Why a sudden twist of fate in an instant? It was like, what hit me? I don't even know what really hit me!?!?
I know that the right thing to do is to just walk away ... you asked me why you ... I don't have the answer for that --- thing is, I really don't know ... I haven't stopped asking myself that question ever since that one single moment that changed everything --- I haven't found the answers to the why's! I haven't quite figured out how this came to be!
All I know is that I have this strong feelings for you, just waiting for the right moment ... would there ever come a right moment? Would there ever be a time for us? I don't know ... I guess there won't be --- and that's what hurts the most!
I hate what I am feeling right now because I know it in my heart I have to let go and just walk away .... but I just can't ... I can't bring myself to do that because you already have a special place in my heart ... you hold the key to my heart ... you have brought out the best in me ever since you showed me that you cared for me ... do you love me like you say you do? That's gonna remain a mystery, maybe! I'll forever be puzzled by that ... and I might not even find out the truth ... maybe because I am too afraid of the truth.
I dread the fact that I have to say goodbye from this love --- a love that has given me both tears and smiles ... with tears dominating but the hell I care ... I love you --- that's plain and simple, that's all there is to it! People might not understand, while there are those who will ... I just hope they won't judge me for my choices ... they won't judge me for my feelings!
I just hate this feeling --- the feeling of being caught in a crossroad --- and you don't know where to go!
No, not that, I know where to go but I am just too stubborn and too blind to find the right way back to my sanity!
Guess, that's just how confused I am right now!
madiesms
081612
